The Science of Love

We call it love. It feels like love. But the most exhilarating of all human emotions is probably nature’s beautiful way of keeping the human species alive and reproducing.

Yes. It doesn’t sound very romantic, but the truth is that all our feelings, as everything else, are just a certain combination of chemicals and reactions in our brain. With an irresistible cocktail of chemicals, our brain entices us to fall in love. We believe we’re choosing a partner. But we may merely be the happy victims of nature’s lovely plan.

Neuroscientists have demonstrated these ideas thought different tests, and conclusions are amazing. For instance, psychologists have shown it takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if you fancy someone. Research has shown this has little to do with what is said, rather

- 55% is through body language,

- 38% is the tone and speed of their voice,

- Only 7% is through what they say.

Thus when it comes to love it seems we are at the mercy of our biochemistry. One of the best known researchers in this area is Helen Fisher of Rutgers University in New Jersey. She has proposed that we fall in love in three stages. Each involving a different set of chemicals.

Stage 1: Lust

Lust is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen. These hormones as Helen Fisher says "get you out looking for anything".

Stage 2: Attraction

This is the truly love-struck phase. When people fall in love they can think of nothing else. They might even lose their appetite and need less sleep, preferring to spend hours at a time daydreaming about their new lover.

In the attraction stage, a group of neuro-transmitters called 'monoamines' play an important role:

- Dopamine: also activated by cocaine and nicotine.

- Norepinephrine (adrenalin):  starts us sweating and gets the heart racing.

- Serotonin: one of love's most important chemicals and one that may actually send us temporarily insane.

Stage 3: Attachment

This is what takes over after the attraction stage, if a relationship is going to last. People couldn't possibly stay in the attraction stage forever, otherwise they'd never get any work done! Attachment is a longer lasting commitment and is the bond that keeps couples together when they go on to have children. Important in this stage are two hormones released by the nervous system, which are thought to play a role in social attachments: oxytocin and vasopressin.

Love. Emotions. Feelings. So tricky as they seem, and so easy that they really are, at least scientifically speaking. Nevertheless, most people don’t believe that. We need not to believe that. It’s difficult to accept that all our complex feelings, emotions and thoughts are simply biochemistry. That all our hopes, fears, loves, and sorrows are just mere reactions happening in our neurons. That we are just atoms, cells and genes in the pursuit of its perpetuations as live forms. But science, and physical evidence, shows us that it is. Chemistry or Soul, what do you believe?

     Listening: An interestind and emotive speech by Helen Fisher


                        Link (Ted Talk):   Helen Fisher: The brain in love